Sunday, May 29, 2011

Life Lessons Learned From Baby Farts

Since this is my first post I believe it would only be fair to warn you all that I have a warped sense of humor and will do or say almost anything for a laugh. Remember Jill's post about me making up dance moves with my pants pulled up to my chest? I have to thank my father for passing along his humor gene to me.

Ok, that's out of the way. On to the topic of this post. Baby farts make me laugh. Before becoming a father I did not realize how little (or maybe how much) control babies have of their "release valve". Molly rips about twenty good ones almost every morning as she is waking up. My grandma always said there is more room out than there is in and that might be the truest statement you will hear today. Though the poots are cute, the little grins that often follow show that what is seen as distasteful later in life is actually very relieving.

By now you are probably wondering why in the world you have read this post about breaking wind. Well, I will tell you. What you are about to read may change your life. Especially if you are the girl that made my sandwich today at Subway. DON'T HOLD FARTS! It will ruin your entire day and everyone around you will think you're a jerk but really you just have gas. Let it out people. That anonymous Subway worker was not mad that I wanted a Spicy Italian. No. She had a gas bubble and needed relief. Every time your boss yells at you I hope you realize he is not mad at you because he is really just trying to keep his butt clinched. I am convinced this could be the key to world peace. I bet Kim Jong Il hasn't ripped one in at least 10 years.

So let's wrap this up. I hope you take away the two most important points: there is more room out than there is in and my daughter can not do anything that isn't cute.


No comments:

Post a Comment