Sunday, January 1, 2012

Whole Foods, Empty Cart

Happy New Year e'rbody! We had a quiet New Year's Eve at home. New Year's Day (today) was sunny and nice so we took a ride through the country and ended up at Whole Foods before heading home. I have always thought Whole Foods was pretty cool (I've been in the Green Hills location once or twice to grab a bottle of water or something) and knew it was filled with all sorts of rare, organic, pricey treasures. So, I thought it might be fun to peruse the aisles, oooh and aaah at the weird, worldly items, and perhaps pick up something unique for supper.

Matt humored me and we ventured into Whole Foods, but the result wasn't what I had anticipated.

You know Whole Foods and its patrons are striving to be progressive and green when the premium parking spots are reserved for hybrids and electric cars (and yes, there are charging stations). Well, we were in our gas guzzling Pathfinder so we parked further back in the parking lot, where all the other environmentally inconsiderte people were parked. Then, as we walked past cars the size of match boxes with bumper stickers that said things like "Obama 2008" and "Revolution" (now now don't get your panties in a wad, you gotta read this with a grain of salt), I couldn't help but think "One of these things is not like the other..."

But we marched on and got a cart to put Molly in and, oddly, there was no room for anything else. Usually at Kroger or Publix, I can put her down in the cart and still use the front part and underneath for groceries. But, the carts at Whole Foods are smaller because a) The people who shop there are much thinner than the average American and don't need to buy as many groceries or b) everything is so dang expensive you can only afford to buy a small amount of stuff. Or maybe it's a combination of both of these. So, Matt grabbed a basket in case something struck our fancy.

But nothing really did. Sure, the 216 different types of couscous and grains were interesting. And the petite frenched rack of lamb (for only $18.99) was a pretty little bargain. Oh, and we were tempted to buy the single baby plate with dividers since it was a steal of a deal at $17.99. But, call me crazy, we just couldn't do it.

Matt's commentary through the store went something like this:

Me: Look at those pretty double chocolate cupcakes!
Matt: They've probably got tofu in them.

Me: I wonder where the bathroom is in this place...
Matt: You have to use a hole in the ground.

Me: Everything looks so fresh and nice.
Matt: You think they have anything with additives? 'Cause that's what I want.

Matt: "There are too many rich hippies in here for me."

And there sort of were. I mean, wearing Tom's and a Louis Vuitton speedy bag is, um, a statement I suppose. It says "I have a handbag that costs an entire month's salary for most people but I care enough to pay $53.99 (that's how much they were there) for some simple cloth shoes because it's philanthropic (and trendy)". Is it trendy to be philanthropic? Food for thought, no pun intended. Which brings me to Matt's next opinion:

Matt: "Any grocery store that has an entire aisle just for Tom's shoes and yoga mats isn't for me."

So, we said goodbye to the hipsters and the wealthy, returned our empty basket back to its stack, and drove ourselves home where we enjoyed some leftover Hamburger Helper. And it was deeeelish.

1 comment:

  1. Love it! I've been with Mom a few times to Whole Foods because she purchases gluten-free products there to to celiac disease...and we both look like misfits the entire time we're wandering the aisles trying to pronounce the names of what's on the shelves. ;-)